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Dodano od: Naslov: Padobranci Ocjeni vic:
Kozarac
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Skacu Mujo i Haso padobranom.
Mujo rece Hasi:
– Haso, vidi ljude, mali su kao mravi.
Haso mu odgovori:
– Budalo, otvori padobran, to i jesu mravi.
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OcjeniGlasano
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Dodano od: Naslov: Kontrolni Ocjeni vic:
Kozarac
Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20
Došla inspekcija u školu. Ulazi u prvu ucionicu, a tamo profesor nag stoji pred razredom. Upita ga inspekcija šta radi, a on kaže:
– Pokazujem ucenicima muške polne organe.
– U redu – rece inspekcija i izadje.
Ulaze oni u drugu ucionicu kad tamo profesorka sva gola stoji pred razredom. Upita inspekcija i nju šta radi, a ona kaže:
– Pokazujem deci ženske polne organe.
– U redu – rece inspekcija i izadje.
Ulaze oni u trecu ucionicu kad tamo profesor i profesorka vode ljubav na stolu pred celim razredom. Upita ih inspekcija šta rade, a oni kažu:
– Prakticno pokazujemo ucenicima ovaj predmet.
– U redu – kaže inspekcija i izadje.
Ulaze oni u cetvrtu ucionicu kad tamo ucenici medjusobno vode ljubav. Upita i njih inspekcija šta rade, a oni kažu:
– Radimo kontrolni.
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OcjeniGlasano
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Dodano od: Naslov: Jedna je majka Ocjeni vic:
Kozarac
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Šta kaže plavuša svom tek rodjenom sinu?
– Za tebe je majka od usta odvajala.
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OcjeniGlasano
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Dodano od: Naslov: Zamena termina Ocjeni vic:
Kozarac
Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20
U trenutku kad je mladi hirurg izlazio iz operacione sale, zaustavi ga upravnik bolnice:
– I, mladi kolega, kako je prošla operacija?
– Operacija? Uh, majku mu, ja mislio autopsija...
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OcjeniGlasano
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Dodano od: Naslov: Pocasna pal Ocjeni vic:
Kozarac
Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20
Uhvatio Crnogorac Bosanca kako mu kreše ženu.Odmah krenu da se fizicki obracuna, ali Bosanac hitro skoci i pobeže kroz prozor. Na to Crnogorac dohvati pušku sa zida i zapuca nekoliko puta za Bosancem, ali od silne žurbe i uzbudjenja promaši i Bosancu poce za rukom da utekne. Kad su komšije saznale za taj slucaj, poceše da zadirkuju prevarenog muža:
– Ajde što ti je*a’ ženu, ali što ga, jado, isprati ka’ vladiku?!

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Dodano od: Naslov: Svekrva Ocjeni vic:
Kozarac
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Upozna Crnogorac devojku i odluci da je oženi. Dovede je na veceru kod majke kako bi je upoznala, ali dovede ukupno tri devojke: plavokosu, rijokosu i brinetu. Majka ga upita zašto je doveo tri devojke, a on rece:
– Da vidim možeš li da pogodiš koja je od njih tvoja buduca snaja?
Ona ih odmeri i potom sigurno izjavi:
– Ona ricokosa!
– Kako si uspela tako brzo da pogodiš?!
– Zato što ne mogu ocima da je vidim!
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Dodano od: Naslov: Perica Ocjeni vic:
Kozarac
Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20
Ulazi nastavnik u razred, svi ustaju, a jedino Perica sedi.
– Tebi se ne diže Perice kad ja ulazim?
– Meni se diže samo kad nastavnica ulazi...
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Dodano od: Naslov: Dokaz Ocjeni vic:
Kozarac
Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20
Klinac kaže panduru:
– Ciko, Ciko, ja mogu da dokažem da ste vi panduri najgluplji ljudi na svetu.
– Beži, mali, nemoj da te privedem!
– Ali, stvarno to mogu da dokažem.
– Ajde, dokaži.
– Koliko si kifli pojeo jutros na prazan stomak? – upita klinac.
– Je*em li ga, tri-cetiri.
– Eto, vidiš da si glup. Pojeo si jednu na prazan stomak, a ostale su došle na tu prvu kiflu.
– Pazi, stvarno! – zamisli se pandur i ode do šefa da mu se požali.
– Šefe, mi panduri smo stvarno najgluplji ljudi na svetu.
– Pazi malo šta pricaš, ja znam za sebe, ali za tebe...
– Ali, šefe, mogu da dokažem.
– Ajde dokaži!
– Šefe, koliko si kifli pojeo jutros na prazan stomak?
– Pa... ovaj... pet-šest, ne znam.
– E, je*i ga, šefe, da si rekao tri-cetiri, sad bih te zajebao.
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Dodano od: Naslov: Komšije Ocjeni vic:
Kozarac
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Komšije lovci, uoci lovnog dana, do kasno u noci spremali se za sutrašnji lov uz dosta ispijenih cašica.
Svanulo tmurno, hladno i vetrovito jutro, sa sitnom kišom! Ali lovac se ipak spremio da podje u lov.
Kad je izašao napolje, udare ga hladan vetar i prava jesenja kiša, on se predomisli i odrece se lova.
Skine se na brzake i pomisli u sebi: „Ma, nek ide onaj ludi komšija, ja idem nazad u svoj krevet da se naspavam i ogrejem.“
Uvuce se polako pored žene u krevet, kad na to progovori žena:
– Jesi li stig’o komšija? Onaj moj levak otišao u lov!
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Dodano od: Naslov: Nema razlike Ocjeni vic:
Kozarac
Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20
Kakva je razlika izmedju psa cuvara i njegovog gazde?
–Nikakva. Ni jedan ni drugi ne diraju domacicu, a komšinicu bi rastrgli!
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OcjeniGlasano
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Dodano od: Naslov: Asocijacije Ocjeni vic:
Kozarac
Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/!autolink_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/url_bbcode_include.php on line 22 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 20 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/mail_bbcode_include.php on line 21 Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /customers/3/6/c/bosna.be/httpd.www/includes/bbcodes/img_bbcode_include.php on line 20
Mrkli mrak u šumi. Ništa se ne vidi, ni prst pred okom. Odjednom Zeka i Tvor naleteše jedan na drugog. Sav preplašen, tvor upita:
– Ko si ti? Opiši se!
– Krznat sam, jedem kupus i šargarepu – odgovori zeka.
– Daj bre, zeko, umalo da me strefi srce.
– A ko si ti? – upita zeka.
– Crn sam, kradem kokoške i smrdim!
– Idi bre, Cigo, u pi*ku materinu, isprepada me!

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11/08/2017 09:17
Hvala svima na lijepom druzenju,al facebook je odavno bosanske portale unistio tako da nedostatkom clanova odlucio sad da ugasim Portal nakon 11 god. Sve najbolje i mozda se cujemo nekad...

04/07/2017 04:53
s kojom sam se prije 5-10 godina svakodnevno znao cut..volio bih da se neko javi ako naleti da vidim gdje je i kako je.. bezbrižno vrijeme je to bilo za mene haha

04/07/2017 04:50
Pozdrav svima ljudiii ako ko naleti još.. kako ste svi, šta ima, šta se radi..nadam se da su svi hvala Bogu zdravi sa svojim porodicama, a poseban pozdrav ide ovoj staroj raji

eda 0
24/04/2017 07:33
Kahvica

15/02/2017 12:57
Frown Kahvica

Anketa
Kad idete ovog ljeta 2017 u nasu lijepu BiH??









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